Sister Dittmar's Mission Blog: My MTC Experience

Hi Everyone!!!
I am like so nervous right now for some reason because I have SO much to
write yall about and I feel weird emailing yall haha. But this is exciting!
I hope I can convey how amazing this week has been here in the MTC. This is
my first and last email in the MTC!! A week from right now I will be in
Oregon. Crazy...
This past week has felt like it has been WAY longer than a week. But it has
been so good. We go all day. We just go go go. My thoughts are going wild
right now. I just have so much to tell you about and don't know where to
start.
I know that this church is true. I have always known. And I would have
never denied that I knew before, but here at the MTC I have received
multiple confirmations that know I could never deny that this church is
true, that our Savior lives, and that this is His work. He is here. I have
felt His presence next to me. I can only compare how I have felt this past
week to how I feel in the temple. Except for it is a constant 24 hours a
day thing. The spirit is so strong here and there is a power that makes it
evident that the Lord is hastening His work. There have been moments when I
could hardly breathe and I close my eyes and feel as if I were to open the
Lord would be standing in front of me. I literally feel the blood pumping
through my veins and that power running through my veins and it is a
feeling that I wish I could describe but I just can't. I hope I don't lose
it ever.
It has become so evident that the Lord truly did send me here at
this time for a reason. I wasn't supposed to come a year ago, I wasn't
supposed to enter the MTC a week before I entered. I was supposed to come
right now. I feel that constantly. I am FINALLY exactly where I am supposed
to be and I feel that running through my entire being. I can't describe it
exactly, except for I have felt the Lord, and I know He lives.
The MTC is
an incredible place. I feel as if I am in heaven. It is hard work, it is
constant effort, but it is heaven. I have never felt more alive. There are
so many ups and downs. I have never felt more inadequate in my life. Every
moment here at the MTC makes me realize more and more how gloriously
important this work is, and how extremely inadequate I am for this work.
But with that, I realize more and more how much I rely and need the Lord
and His guidance. There have been countless moments when I have felt the
spirit running through me and I couldn't deny that the thoughts coming to
my mind were from the Lord. I love my Savior. He is here. He loves each one
of us. I have never experienced this more deeply than I have here.
I will just start from the beginning. When we were driving up to the MTC I
thought I was going to hyperventilate. My chest was getting heavy and I
could hardly breath and I thought I was going to jump out of the car and
just run away. It was really the worst feeling. But as soon as I got out
and got my suitcases and started walking to the building everything the
whole rest of the day was just go go go. I didn't have time to think about
my family, or what I got myself into. It was just go go go and extremely
overwhelming. I don't really have much to say about the first day except
for that it was overwhelming. I knew that the only way I could be happy on
this MTC journey was if I loved my companion. I have prayed and prayed and
I constantly pray and pray to love her and understand her and we get along
great. I love having someone to rely on when my mind goes blank during a
lesson or I don't know where to go. :) Her name is Sister Magnusson. In my
district is also Sister Gill and Sister Quizon, Elder Cash and Elder
Cashmore, Elder Toilalo and Elder Richards. They are so awesome! But we
didn't become super close until the next day. We got up the next morning
and went to personal study time in our classroom and it was dead silent.
None of us talked to each other at all. haha Then we went to breakfast and
the had additional study time where I mentioned that maybe we could all
study together for that! haha after that we have eaten all our meals
together in the cafeteria and have become inseperable basically. I LOVE my
district. One of the reasons the Lord sent me on my mission right now is so
that I could have this district here at the MTC.
After study time in the morning we went to get shots then went to People
and my Purpose workshop. By then I already felt like it should be 8 at
night, but it was only 10:30 in the morning. I never knew you could do so
much in one day!!! haha During this meeting we talked about how to develop
love for your investigators and all of Gods children. At this meeting I
realized how completely happy I am. There is an ability to feel the spirit
so constantly here and it is amazing. Then we went back to our classroom
where Brother Flinders came to talk to us about MTC Orientation. We talked
about our purpose and what we want to get out of our time here. He had us
just pray and think about this. This was my first experience where when I
closed my eyes I could literally feel the Lord and angels next to me. The
Lord is here preparing His missionaries for His work.
In Brother Valentine, one of my teachers, class we talked about which
investigator we were teaching. Sis M and I are teaching Greg. Before I talk
about him I just want to describe this. Greg isn't a real investigator. Brother Alder is our teacher and he is playing the role of Greg. Greg was actually one of Bro Alders investigators on his mission. Brother Alders love for Greg is so evident. And when he plays Greg, he becomes Greg. Greg has felt like a real investigator for us and my love for him is so strong. We committed him to baptism yesterday :) but I'll get there. Greg claimed to be an atheist whose best friend was a mormon and referred his name to the missionaries. Our first lesson I
recited Joseph Smiths vision in his own words. That was the first time
reciting it for an investigator and the spirit in the room was undeniable.
I was crying and could hardly finish. As I was looking at Greg speaking
Joseph Smiths words I could see out of the corner of my eye a picture of
the first vision on the wall behind him and next to that the sun streaming
through the window and it was an incredible experience. Our third lesson
with Greg on Monday was so awful. That was my lowest point at the MTC. I
felt like the worst missionary ever after that. haha But Elder Cash and
Elder Cashmore talked with Sis M and I after about what went wrong and why
and helped us come up with a plan after. Then they sat in on our next
lesson with us just to watch. But that lesson went so so so well. Then
yesterday was our fifth lesson and he committed to baptism in a month. So
now we get to work with him to prepare for that! After each lesson with
Greg Brother Alder turns back into himself and gives us advice. After our
first lesson with him he said, "Thank you for comng to the MTC prepared." I
am so grateful for Brother Alder and for the character he played, Greg. I
love them so much and am so grateful for them. We were so shocked and
excited when he said yes to prepare for baptism yesterday!!!! Brother Alder
wouldn't have done that if we hadn't hit the mark on what Greg needed.
Afterwards we walked into the hall so happy and Elder Cash and Elder
Cashmore were there and I almost highfived Elder Cashmore becuase I was so
excited, but then we paused and all of us did good work handshakes instead.
haha They are so great. In all of our pictures the elders and sisters leave
so much space in between each other that it looks like we aren't even
supposed to be in each others picture haha I love them so much. Exact
obedience is important. :)
Thursday night I had an interview with my branch pres, President McMullin.
He said, "It is so amazing to see a district so close after just a day." I
was seriously like, "it's only been a day????" haha I love my district. I
am scared to go to the mission field and not have their support around me
all the time. But I will have the Lord.
On Sunday I saw Mommy and Daddy! haha I kept my cool when I saw Daddy :)
haha Sunday was so great. My interview with President was amazing. I cried
as I spoke to him about my love for the MTC and my love for the Lord and
how I didn't want to enter back into the world and lose this feeling. He
helped me so much and promised I would like the mission field even more. I
am so grateful for him. He also gave an incredible talk in church that I
felt was just for me. Sunday Elder Cash and Elder Cashmore were called as
the zone leaders and Sis M and I were called as the training sister
leaders. It was so fun last night to welcome the new missionaries, and we
had such a spiritual time with them. It was amazing.
Sunday night was a great fireside but we lost our district right before and
so Sis M and I sat alone. It was the first time I started getting homesick.
Then for the film that night we found the elders saving seats for us and I
wasn't homesick anymore. haha I don't know what I am going to do without my
MTC family. The film we watched was The Character of Christ by Elder
Bednar. GO WATCH IT. It was one of the most incredible moments of my life
and so life changing. Afterwards we could all hardly move from how
overwhelmed we were with the spirit. It was amazing. One of the things
Elder Bednar says in it is "If you think you can't do it, you're right. You
can't. But through the atonement you can have the strength to do all
things... but its not about you... if you lose yourself in service, you'll
find yourself, but you won't be looking for it."
The Elders are so funny but cute Sister Quizon described them last night
perfectly when she said, "they are silly but spiritually mature." We have
the ability to have fun and laugh but turn it off immediately and be
focused. Except for yesterday. Yesterday Elder Cash was pretending to be
Greg so we could teach him and try to figure out what Greg needed before
going in and teaching him, but Sis M and Elder Cash and I kept getting
attacked by the giggles. So then Edler Cashmore was like let me be Greg.
Then he got attacked by the giggles. We are all tired I think. But having
the best time ever.
My first few nights here I couldn't sleep at all. Partly because it was a
new place, but mostly becuase I didn't want to go to sleep and lose the
feeling I had. The feeling of the spirit running through me. I know that
sounds silly but I just wanted to lay there and feel. I love it here. The
spirit is everywhere. This is such powerful work.
On Sunday we had a training meeting for being the sis training leaders so
we didn't get to go to chior practice. But luckily they still let us go
Tuesday and we got to be in the devotional choir and sing for Elder Oaks. ELDER
OAKS CAME!!!! I was so excited. We were all singing hymns and all of the
sudden everyone stands and in walks Elder Oaks while we were singing. It
was so powerful. I loved his talk and as we sang Praise to the Man in the
choir and I looked at him on the stand I thought I might float out of my
chair. He is a servant of God, we have been called to help him move forward
the Lords work, and this is the Lords work. The Lord lives!! And it is He
who guides this church! One of my favorite things that Elder Oaks said was,
"the greatest priviledge of missionary work is to do for God's children
something similar to what our Savior did for us- in that its something
they cannot do for themselves." This is a glorious work. This is the most
important work. This is the Lords work.
That's all I can think right now. I know more than ever that this church is
true, that our Savior lives, and that He knows and loves each of us and has
the ability to speak to us through the Holy Ghost. This has been the most
amazing and powerful week of my life. I think I am having the experience
here that the MTC was made for :)
I love you all. Seek for the truth in your life. Seek for the spirit. Seek
for knowledge. Seek for God.
Love, Sister Dittmar

My desk.

The first picture taken of my district. It shows Elder Cash and Elder Cashmore's relationship perfectly. haha.

My lovely companion, Sister Magnusson.

We were always careful to leave a big space in between the sisters and elders, and we always joked how it looked like we were two separate groups who were accidentally in each others picture.